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Apocalypse Chamber Pre-Show Assault


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We conclude the pre-show web exclusive with a shot of the roundtable discussion of predictions for Apocalypse Chamber's card, with Gidget Stephenson, Mateo Capone, Brittney Richards alongside Groucho the Dummy, who has been giving steaming hot piles of bad takes all night.

Groucho: Okay, you dummies, you people, you experts aren't putting any respect on the man, the myth, the young legend Thaddeus Jedediah "The TJ Stands For The Game [pronounced as a soft "g"] Changer" Alexander. This kid can fly, and I think he's going to soar over the competition and end up winning inside The Chamber.

Mateo Capone: That's certainly one opinion, Groucho. But let me tell you about my pick. He's gotten a lot of shit for his antics, but I think that's all just a mind game he has against everyone. Remember, twelve enter the chamber. You're not just up against one. You're up against all of them. So my pick to win the night is Mike Dimter. 

Groucho: Hey, you wanna start something old timer? You wanna go?

Mateo Capone: Yeah, yeah, big words coming from such a small puppet.

Brittney Richards: Wait, wait, Groucho, Mateo. Stop. We're just getting word in the back that Sammael McBane is being attacked! Someone get a camera back there. 

Gidget Stephenson: I haven't even gotten to give my pick yet!

Camera men run to the backstage spot, where in the parking lot, The Bluegrass Mafia and Sammael McBane are fighting. The Firing Squad have McBane pinned against a car hood as Matt Kurtis delivers shots to his torso with a 2x4 plank.

Mateo Capone: Another unprovoked assault made by The Bluegrass Mafia!

Gidget Stephenson: Unprovoked? Are you kidding? Remember, Children Of The Damned won that big five team elimination match to earn their shot. That included the Firing Squad, who had undeniably the most controversial elimination.

As commentary reacts, McBane gets an arm free from the Firing Squad and begins to fight back, landing shots against Matt Kurtis and Manaia. Fetu is quick to mount his back, gouging McBane's eyes to bring him down once again. This time, he stays on McBane's back as Matt and Manaia kick him in the lower back, flattening him against the concrete.

Matt Kurtis: Get'im over here!

Matt Kurtis directs traffic as he tells the Firing Squad to bring McBane over to a beat-up Ford truck. He opens the driver side door and orders them to put his leg inside. As his ankle reaches the edge, a bloodied Thanatos Myssiah enters from the side and jumps on top of Fetu. His face is completely covered in the crimson mask, and he starts wailing on every Bluegrass Mafia member in sight.

Mateo Capone: That's Thanatos Myssiah! It looks like B.G.M. has went after both members tonight!

From off screen, Dominic Kurtis enters, holding in his hand a steel fork. After gaining a grasp of Myssiah, he stabs the fork into his head multiple times, slowly but surely knocking him down to his knees. When Dominic releases Myssiah, the camera keeps focus as the fork is implanted into the top of his forehead all the way until he falls to the side.

Gidget Stephenson: My god, Mateo! What a gruesome image! What is Bluegrass Mafia's plan here?

Brittney Richards: Can someone get security out to the parking lot? Please?!

The camera cuts back toward the truck, as Chad Kurtis appears from the other side, holding McBane by his ankle against the corner of the door lock.

Chad Kurtis: Do it! 

We don't see how it happens, but Matt and one of the firing squad keeps kneeled on McBane's chest. But from off screen, one of the boys flies in with a massive shotgun dropkick to the truck door. It bends the metal and there's a sickening crack that's heard, followed by a yell of pain from McBane.


Matt Kurtis: Cocksucker? Cocksucker! 

Kurtis gets off of McBane. McBane tries to reach for his ankle, but ends up receiving a multitude of stomp to the head.

Matt Kurtis: Hold him down, Fetu. Cocksucker? I'll show you cocksucker. 

Matt grabs hold of the ankle and puts it back against the edge of the truck. He puts his foot hard against McBane's knee, then grabs hold the truck door and swings it with all his might into the ankle. If it wasn't shattered before, this damage will seal the deal. But Kurtis isn't done. He does it another three times, finishing with a full weight stomp onto the leg.

Manaia: That's what you get, boy!

Fetu: Tell'em!

Manaia: Your ass gets stomped!

Fetu: That's what's up!

Matt Kurtis: See, this wha' you get for bein' so damn disrespectful. Cuttin' the line for the tag titles in front-a my kin. So now, we'll return that in kindness. Let your old boy know that when he wakes up. Y'hear?

Before we get any more of a response from McBane, the camera turns up as we witness Dominic rushing with Thanatos Myssiah, sending him into the windshield of the truck, shattering the glass as part of Myssiah's head penetrates through. Dominic walks over to stand by his brother Matt, clapping his hands clean of their messy destruction. Soon Chad joins the group, taking charge.

Chad Kurtis: Boys, I think it's time that we inform Miss Feigel of the unfortunate incident that has befallen our constituents.

The camera cuts back to the pre-show panel, as the Firing Squad laughs at Chad's comment. The entire panel have shocked looks on their faces. The most shocked being Groucho the doll.

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