Scho-time at Assault: Schoner Twins
The Schoner Twins step out onto the stage, both dressed in matching designer ring gear that looks more like it belongs on a Milan runway than in a wrestling ring: glittering gold and black ensembles with "SCHONER" bedazzled across the back in Swarovski crystals. Chloe holds a diamond-encrusted microphone while Claire fans herself with a limited-edition Hermès scarf. They both wear smug, superior smirks as they strut down the ramp, ignoring the boos raining down from the AWS crowd. Chloe, the more upbeat of the two was the first to speak with her microphone raised.
Chloe Schoner: Oh my gawd, listen to these peasants. Can you hear them, Claire? All that booing… it’s like they’ve never seen real class before. Hi, darlings. For those of you who somehow don’t already know us—and let’s be honest, if you don’t, you clearly don’t follow the right circles—we are the Schoner Twins. Chloe and Claire Schoner. Heiresses to the Schoner fortune, social media icons, and without question the most beautiful, most talented, and most superior tag team to ever step foot inside an Asylum Wrestling Society ring.
Claire Schoner: Exactly, sis. While the rest of these… people… were scraping by, fighting over scraps and posting their sad little filtered selfies, we were vacationing in the Maldives, shopping in Paris, and training with the best private coaches money can buy. Because unlike certain trailer-park tag teams we could mention, we don’t just wrestle… we elevate the sport. We make it fashion. Can you imagine of a better team to hold the WXW Women’s Tag Team Championships? Yeah you can't.
Arrogance was flowing from the twins in full effect as they graced the fans here at Assault. Their match was later but they were going to make their feelings clear tonight before their WXW Women’s Tag Team Championship match. And indeed the started to chant "TE-QUI-LA" at the end of her statement.
Chloe Schoner: And this Sunday night on AWS Sunday Night Assault, we’re being forced—yes, forced—to share the same ring with two absolute bottom-feeders who call themselves Tequila Rose. Avery McCullen and Sarah Lee Jackson. I mean… really? Tequila Rose? Did you two pick that name after one too many shots at the local dive bar? How utterly predictable. How… basic.
Claire Schoner: Let’s start with you, Avery. Oh, Avery McCullen… the “fiery adventurer.” How adorable. Sweetie, we’ve seen your little highlight reels. What you do outside of the ring. Running around in the jungle, climbing rocks, pretending you’re some kind of female Indiana Jones. Newsflash, darling: swinging from vines and playing in the dirt doesn’t make you tough.
Chloe and Claire Schoner: It just makes you… dirty!
Claire Schoner: We vacation in places where the staff brings us fresh towels and chilled champagne. You vacation in places where you probably have to boil your own water so you don’t get parasites. Different tax brackets, I suppose. The tag titles are too good for you!
They paused for a moment after spitting their public venom to one half of the tag team champions before focusing on the other half. Their arrogant smirks still remaining strong
Chloe Schoner: And then there’s Sarah Lee Jackson. A woman who is so aggressively MID. We can't stand The only thing aggressive about you, Sarah, is how aggressively average you are. You come out here every week with that little scowl, pumping your fists like some blue-collar hero. Newsflash number two: nobody cares about your struggle. We don’t want to hear about how hard you worked or how you “earned” your spot. You didn’t earn anything. You were handed a participation trophy and told you were special. We were handed actual trophies—silver, gold, and the occasional platinum—and we still worked harder than you because excellence is in our DNA.
Claire Schoner: You two represent everything that’s wrong with this company. You’re loud. You’re sweaty. You’re… common. Avery, you run around like you’re on some grand expedition, but the only thing you’re exploring is how far down the card you can fall. Sarah, you act like you’re the voice of the people, but the people don’t want your voice. They want our voice. They want elegance. They want sophistication. They want winners who look like they belong on magazine covers, not on the side of a milk carton much less with those simply gorgeous WXW Women’s Tag Team Championships
Chloe raised her mouth to speak. Feeding on the venom of the Raving AWS fans in attendance.
Chloe Schoner: You two are nothing but a temporary inconvenience. A speed bump on the road to our inevitable domination of the AWS tag team division. We don’t just want to beat Tequila Rose… we want to embarrass you. We want to leave you laid out in the middle of that ring, staring up at the lights, wondering how two rich girls who you called “spoiled” just dismantled everything you stand for. And when it’s over, when the referee raises our flawless arms in victory, we’ll stand over your broken bodies and remind the entire world what real superiority looks like.
Claire Schoner: So bring your tequila, bring your rose-colored delusions, bring your “never say die” attitudes. It won’t matter. Because at the end of the night, the Schoner Twins will still be on top—richer, prettier, and far more talented than you could ever dream of being. And you two? You’ll just be another footnote. Another pair of has-beens who thought they could hang with actual royalty.
Chloe Schoner: We are the Schoner Twins. We are excellence personified. And this Sunday night on Sunday Night Assault… Tequila Rose is going to learn what happens when you step into the ring with girls who were born to be champions!