At a children’s hospital in the cancer ward…
Hehehe and Hahaha walk through the hallways, glancing at the room numbers while then taking turns glancing at a piece of paper in their grubby little hands.
Hehehe - Room 113?
Hahaha - Nope.
Hehehe - Room 115?
Hahaha - Nope.
They stop in the hallway and look at each other in confusion.
Hehehe - What number was Billy in again?
Hahaha - 114, but I don’t see how.
They walk from room 113 to its neighboring room 115. There’s no room 114 in between.
Hehehe - How do we cheer up a child in an imaginary room?
Hahaha - I don’t know how that works. Do we just say he was cheered up?
Hehehe - What if they ask what he looked like?
Hahaha - Umm…do we lie?
Hehehe - You mean not tell the truth? What would mother say?
Hahaha - Not much. She’s dead.
Hehehe blinks back tears with his mouth hanging open in shock. For that matter, Hahaha seems pretty stunned that he said it too.
Hehehe - You take that back!
Hehehe - Why? It’s the truth!
Hehehe - I’m the younger brother, you should protect me from that!
Hahaha - You’re only younger by two minutes.
Hehehe punches Hahaha in the jaw, who punches him back in the nose.
Hehehe - You punched me in the nose!
Hahaha - You punched me in the mouth!
Hehehe - I’ll kill you!
Hahaha - No, I’ll kill you!
Pretty soon the twins are rolling around the hallway, knocking over equipment as they punch at each other and try to choke one another. Hospital security comes and breaks up the fight while a nurse walks over and is horrified at the sight of the twins bleeding onto the floor and smeared across their smudged facepaint.
Nurse - What is the meaning of this? You two came here to cheer up Billy and not fight each other in the hallway!
Hehehe and Hahaha both look down at the floor in shame while they drip blood from their faces from the injuries that they inflicted upon one another that are healing up quickly.
Hehehe - But there is no Billy.
Hahaha - No room 114.
Nurse - What in the merry blue heck are you talking about?
Hehehe points to room 113 while Hahaha points to room 115. They both point to a spot in the center.
Hehehe - There’s no-
Hahaha - Room 114!
The nurse sighs and motions to the other side of the hallway.
Nurse - Turn around, you little idiots!
Hehehe and Hahaha look at the nurse in a confused sort of way.
Hehehe - That’s not-
Hahaha - How the song goes.
The nurse points to the other side of the hallway again and this time the twins turn around and see that room 114 was right across from room 115. The odds being on one side of the hallway and the evens right across the aisle. The twins pretty much look like they have discovered America.
Hehehe - Wish it and-
Hahaha - The room manifests!
Nurse - It’s not the Room of Requirement, you ten cent Bozos.
Hehehe - There’s no requirement-
Hahaha - To enter?
Nurse - Look. Are you going to go in to cheer up Billy or not? Security will be standing outside of the room so that if you cause a scene again like you did out here, you will be expelled from the building! Are we clear?
Hehehe - We will be good, miss.
Hahaha - You can count on us.
Hehehe - Just don’t throw us out a window.
Hahaha - We’re up very high, you know.
The nurse’s jaw hangs open, appalled at the very idea that she would have them thrown out through a window on the tenth floor of a hospital.
Nurse - Just go!
Hehehe and Hahaha give up a ghastly giggle as they take turns walking into Billy’s hospital room. He is sitting up in bed with a smile and a fuzzy hat covering his bald head.
Billy - Boy, oh boy. They said that you was scary looking clowns, but the fake blood takes the cake!
Hehehe and Hahaha look at one another before they look back at Billy.
Hehehe - Oh, this blood is real.
Hahaha - We had a little fight.
Hehehe - Ha was mean..
Hahaha - Was not!
Billy - Wow! You guys are awesome! I love scary clowns! I saw Killer Klowns from Outer Space twenty-eight times since I’ve been here! Are you guys ready to become AWS tag team champions?
Hehehe and Hahaha grins their gorey looking grins since they are bloodstained.
Hehehe - The match is-
Hahaha - Going to be a cinch.
Hehehe - We are so much better-
Hahaha - Than hacks who can’t even spell center.
Billy - I think they spell it the British way.
Hehehe - Oooohhh.
Hahaha - That makes sense!
Hehehe - We are still going to cream them.
Hahaha - We are going to steam them.
Hehehe and Hahaha take up positions across from one another with the bed in between them. They begin phantom boxing with one another with Billy in between.
Hehehe - We’re going to rock ‘em and sock ‘em!
Hahaha - We’re going to knock them right out!
Hehehe - We’re going to pin them in the middle of the ring!
Hahaha - While the referee counts to three!
Billy looks from one clown to the other excitedly, but catches a stray punch from Hehehe in the mouth. Blood and spittle splatter across Hahaha as Billy is knocked the fuck out!
Hehehe - Oh. That’s going to leave a mark.
Hahaha - He, what did you do?
Hehehe - Gave him a pill?
Hahaha - He, you gave him a punch!
Hehehe - Well…poopy.
Hahaha - Oh, you said a bad word!
The nurse rushes into the room and sees what the twins have done to Billy.
Nurse - You were supposed to cheer him up, not beat him up! SECURITY!
The twins make a beeline for the door, knocking aside the nurse and plowing through security guards as they make their way toward the elevators and freedom. One of the security guards gets up and calls for the police on the emergency line.
Oh the twins are going to spend a night in jail…oh yes…
